Victimless?

As a stroke survivor, I have come to realize that there are many other survivors who had no control over the factors that caused their strokes. Yet, they feel guilty and carry shame and have troubled relationships with family and friends. That does not apply to me.

I knew of my family medical history – our tendency toward high blood pressure and susceptibility to type 2 diabetes and stroke. Yet I ignored this and avoided going to the doctor for help with my elevated BP, which most likely caused my stroke. Which makes my family victims.

I really have no way to make it up to them, other than to apologize for my behavior and do my best to prevent a repeat of my poor choices. They have gone through so much because of this, altered their lives because of me.

I fully accept the blame. My fault entirely. Fortunately for me, I have been forgiven. Many lessons were learned, though, not to be forgotten.

There are those survivors who have suffered needless guilt over their strokes and resulting lifestyle changes, who have not been forgiven for events not within their power to control. They have been neglected or abandoned by their families, gone through untimely divorces, and have to seek counseling for depression and related psychological problems. They may harbor anger and resentment, and consider themselves failures. They have my deepest sympathy.

My take on this – there really are no victimless strokes. Some may perceive themselves as “victims” while others truly are. All I can say is to accept responsibility for poor choices, apologize to those impacted by those choices, and practice Christian forgiveness, whether or not you are a follower of Christ.

But don’t forget the journey, or the ultimate goal.

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