Soapbox Time

After reading complaints from fellow stroke survivors, I thought I would write this as a reaction to thoughtless and insensitive comments from so-called caring persons. I have not experienced any of these myself, but wonder what goes on in the mind of those who make such hurtful statements.

experience is the best (or worst) teacher

Brain damage – something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy (if I had one). Live and learn.
Recovery can be long, difficult, painful and expensive, and can ruin relationships.

walk a mile in my shoes

Some stroke survivors are unable to walk at all. Before you judge me, try living my life for one day.

judge not, lest ye be judged

I was just as clueless and ignorant before my stroke; thought they happen only to the old and infirm. I lived, and learned.

random comments (ignorance is bliss)

“But, you don’t look sick…”
Looks can be deceiving.

“Why, you’ll recover and be back to your old self in no time!”
I wish. Not that simple.

“I’m jealous; I wish I could sit at home all day and do nothing.”
Ugh. No comment. Try experiencing Locked-in Syndrome.

“You may never fully recover.”
Seriously? Just watch me. You may learn a thing or two about adaptability, something even “normal” people resort to when necessary.

“You are always cracking jokes. How can you possibly be sick?”
Humor is therapy. Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you cry alone. Staying positive helps me heal more quickly.

“You make unreasonable statements at the most inopportune times. Your reaction is very inappropriate.”
Emotional lability: no control, no filters. Reclaimed after intense therapy, medication and healing over time, or not at all. Sensory overload can lead to emotional outbursts beyond my control.

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
Aphasia: loss of communication skills. Another side-effect of brain damage. Can be temporary or permanent. Frustrating for me as well.

“Are you even listening to me? You seem to be staring off into space.”
Another issue with brain damage – hearing and sight also may be affected. I am listening, but process things differently now. I may take longer to understand what was said, and must choose my words carefully in response. I am easily distracted; have difficulty filtering out other conversations or sounds.

“You don’t love me any more.”
Brain damage can lead to changes in mood. Trauma. Loss of personality. Confusion. Frustration. Discouragement. Failure. All contributing to Depression. Counseling and medication can reverse this condition. Yes, I still love you, though I am not capable of expressing that love like I once was.

“You stroke survivors are the reason health insurance is so expensive.”
Like, I had a choice in this. Do you smoke, drink alcohol or take recreational drugs? Those are choices.

“How could you do this to me?” (from spouse, child, family, friend, employer)
The stroke was beyond my control. Recovery is my top priority; this is my new reality. Sorry if that makes me appear selfish. I still care for you.

“Our company is not ADA compliant; you can’t work or shop here.”
Legal actions are costly, time-consuming and often are not successful. Bummer.

“We all have crosses to bear.”
True enough. Life is not without challenges for all of humanity.

Off my soapbox now, but this needed to be shared. Apologies for any hurt feelings.

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2 Responses to “Soapbox Time”

  1. Sandy Says:

    I have thoroughly enjoyed reading and relating to your story. Thank you for sharing 💚

  2. micka76 Says:

    Reblogged this on my Stroke Experiences and commented:
    this Blog is also informate

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